Degraded

I've been feeling degraded lately. As a Child, Wife, a Mother, a Colleague. When I was thinking about the past, while I was still in Secondary School. I felt the confidence, I felt like I am being ME. I do what I want to do, thinking that I know what I want. And I know I can fight back, with whoever trying to defeat me. But lately, that respect have gone. I felt weak, hopeless, and nothing but a wife and a mother. People have been labeling me as Lazy, Good for Nothing, Unappreciative. At times, I don't even know what to do, and all I do is stare at the ceiling where I once stared and have big dreams about my life. Well, now my life is all about impressing others. And when is not up to expectation, I felt like I fail BIG TIME. I remember when I was in secondary school. What people say is none of my business. Even though I know people wont be around me, to support me when I fail. But now, when you have trust, faith, belief with the people around you, this people simply goes against you when you fail. At most, they might even bring you down even deeper till you know no one will bring you back up anymore. And its dissapointing. And ME, Im stuck in that situation. When my confidence level is just about to went up, Im stuck as I was about to start, because there's no longer an opportunity for me to grow. I know, I am no longer the person I once used to be. The confidence is no longer there. Cause as i was about to raise myself up, people think its a joke and its impossible. Guess what? The person is no other than the people around me. I once so bubbly, confident with the decision that I chose. But now, something/someone is just stopping me.

Im in DILEMMA :(

Happy Mother's Day & I Miss School

Its been soooooooooooo long.

So, before the main update started. 

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOTHER OUT THERE!

Alright! Since its Mother's Day. I am going to use this color and font for the rest of my blog post. 

Siglap Secondary School. Is where I learn to be Me. Is where I learn that not all friendship can last forever. And also its a place where i can call Home because that is where i found a MOTHER, a FATHER, SISTERS and BROTHERS. I've learned that you decide where or what you want to do in life. 4 years. It was indeed a short period of time. My first best friends who are now my best friends forever, Amira and Michelle. They have been with me since orientation and till today date. 

We may be in Normal Tech stream, but we are happy. We are happy that we have each other side. Sec 1 wasn't really easy due to bullies. But after those bullies has left, my whole classmates life has been better. We do class deco together, I even got to know that someone had a crush on me. First crush acknowledge. But, since life was still early in secondary school. I didn't accept any relationship. And that explain why i got a lot of crushed. Cause being in a relationship at that time, just can't be serious. 

Red Cross is the CCA of my choice. Honestly, i don't remember why, i chose that CCA. But that CCA changes my life too. I've become BOLD with the decision i make. Nothing stops in my way. School projects. I could not forget the Social Studies project where we spelled one of the country wrong. And the teacher, who i cant even remember the name cause he only teach us for a semester, stressed out that even in real life, a country cannot be spelled wrongly. And from that onwards, all my projects i took seriously. I remember the last group project name was The Only Boy. The reason is obvious. And obviously also, the only boy never do anything. PANDAI! 
Friends. I met Michelle and Amira during sec 1 orientation at Pasir Ris Park, there is where the 3 of us start group communication. While Asarin, I met during CCA orientation. She was in the same class with me, only because she already have friends from primary school to talk to, she didn't talk to me. And I couldn't forget the first question i've asked her and Syafika. "Korang sedara, eyhk?" And they give me this, Urm-No look. Hahahha. From there its obvious isn't it, that they are not cousin. 

THIS BLOG POST IS QUITE LONG.......

Long story short. I had chills whenever i send Rawi to school. Cause i'll pass half of siglap sec, especially the place where i run around alot. Marching, hiding, playing, taking photos. The school has been quiet lately. Knowing that my former form teacher has passed away, make my chills worsen. How i had great memories. Many of my classmates or schoolmates are still contactable. Obviously, via facebook and instagram. Some are married with family, some just got married, some just got engaged, some even have become chefs, some have become makeup-artist. It really sad that Siglap has come to an end. Around this year it will be merging with Coral Secondary. 
My most unforgettable memory about the school is, ME. I wasn't prepared for life after graduation. 
2008 - Is the year where all i want to do is go back to secondary school. Cause life after graduation, no one is going to discipline you anymore. Life really make a huge turn after graduating. I enjoyed so much of secondary school life. That i am unaware of things going around out there. I was so lost with the choice of courses. 

Alright.. I'll continue this tale some other time. Heading to bed soon.
Good Nights!

Huggies,
NurfatinYusli

Doing Business

This is not an update of my life. Its about the business that my family and i runs.

We are currently dealing business with one of this wedding planner. She asked question and expect an answer within 24 hours. Woah. We know time is money. But if you never give us proper detail, what kind of deal are we closing. And when we're asking for further details, she expect us to view her facebook page for her sample list of menu. What?! Really? I thought this is your profession. It pisses me off. Everybody need money, but hey, RESPECT your vendor at least. Sorry for the not pleasant update. But this is it for now.

I'll update further about the catering business that my family and I run one day. Maybe you can, get us to cater your event. :D

Huggies,
Nurfatin Yusli

First Feb post & Teh Uncang Dessert

Welcome to the 12th Feb. Yes! Late post. Its not that I don't have anything to update. But, even when I am typing this, i got mommy-daughter duty. And when i wanted to update outside my room, i have to start discussing about the catering and updates on the potential customer.

Teh Uncang Dessert. I was randomly bake Suji. Yes, its that small minor kuih. I was randomly craving for it. And the most weird thing is, im craving on my own suji. How I wish, if i am pregnant and i craving for something that require me to cook instead of looking for someone's dish. Best not to trouble anybody, they say. Alright. Back to the Dessert. Shikin, my 1st younger sister brought it to her workplace. Im glad that most people like it. But i never thought that people want to buy my suji. YES! First dessert sell! Will be doing it this evening. Currently is 0116hrs. Zan is outside playing game, Rawi and I do our mini movie marathon. We movie-skipped, cause most of the movie watched. 

This is the only update, i can update for now. Can check on our instagram for the Suji photo that i baked. Till I blog again.....

Huggies,

NurfatinYusli

Chemong is back! & Pregnancy

Good Afternoon blog readers! On the previous post, Chemong has not return home since 4am. 3 days later in the afternoon, my mum whatsapp a poster of a found-missing cat. YES! its Chemong! So, that evening, my mum called the number on the poster and we collected Chemong from this nice neighbour who own 3 cats. Alhamdulillah. All the lady was in tears when Chemong finally reached home. And so, now he is forbidden to go out of the house. huhu.

Alright, as you can see the next topic I am going to talk about is Pregnancy. Ever since I've been trying to conceive for a second child, situation been quite sensitive to me. I know I shouldn't be sooooo upset because I at least have a child, while a few couples out there have been trying like mad to at least get a child. I've been reading article about a few misleads that I've been getting. The bias part is that whenever I notice a difference with my body or my period. I thought i was pregnant. So, I've checked what causes me, not to get pregnant. A few reasons i noticed was, Weight and Diet. So, I've cut down most of my carbs intake, especially potatoes. I'm a big Potato eater. I've seen my lifestyle is getting healthier. I secretly exercising via dancing. I get my body going until December 2015 when i realise i have this pain around my left chest and feeling breathless. And so, once again i thought i was pregnant. My menses was 3 days late. I told zan, I really need to get a pregnancy test, because if I am not pregnant, means it might be something else, but before i bought the pregnancy test, my menses came. Last year, on September 2015, my menses become irregular. I had spotting for 3 days, then 2 weeks later i got my menses. Then the next month, almost the whole month i bleed. I seek the doctor, and the doctor confirmed that I am not pregnant, and make an appointment to the hospital the following month. At the hospital i did the cervical test to check if i had cancer, Alhadulillah, I don't. And I did and ultrasound which explains the irregular bleeds. I had ovarian cyst. I asked the doctor if this is one if the reason why I couldn't get pregnant, and she said, NO. I was quite upset, not because of the cyst but because I still don't know why I am not pregnant. I also read an article about this couple who have been trying to conceive, and the lady got into a depression because they've been trying for a year already, but no positive on the pregnancy test. And most of the comment mention that, you shouldn't think so much about this. You can't be on a depression, that is one of the reason why you can't get pregnant. Yes, beside dieting and healthy lifestyle, you shoouldn't be so stresses about this or better still avoid being stress. I've watched one of this vlog yesterday, somehow i can relate to them. The link will be at the end of this blog post.

Will update in details on what I've researched on pregnancy. Till next time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gg-8l8EQvCQ (AprilJustinTV)

Huggies,

NurfatinYusli

Broken Heart

Never i thought i would go through "Breaking Up" again after marriage. Unlike few post before this. Today I felt helpless. The first broken heart for 2016. And this time, this heart was broken for a new reason in life. 

Since 4am, 15Jan2016, Chemong left the house and never return ever since. I should have expect this since my dad did mention to leave the door open and if Chemong happen to leave and never return, means we must accept reality that he is indeed have move on to the "wild" life. Today incident was so unexpected. The only reason it touch me so much, is because i treat him like my new baby. And yes, INDEED i treat him like one of our family member. No one knows how deep this cut is. As shown above picture, that was taken yesterday when i realise that he really misses his mother, and wanted "breast milk". I was sad, cause i really couldnt do much. And the thought of it makes me believe that Allah s.w.t heard my prayers that Chemong indeed has meet with his mum, and that explain why he didn't come back home. I really hope he did meet up with his mother. And he do, I hope he could forgive Rawi for accidentally stepped and grab his tail. May we meet up again in Jannah, In syaa Allah. I really do treat you like a child. Thanks for filling up part of my heart. 

That is it for today post. I did absolutely nothing today because of this incident. Hope tomorrow will give me a new Title for a new blog post. *At least a happy one.

Huggies,

NurfatinYusli

Home-base Job

Reading through the title, many things come through my mind. Being independent is one thing and a mother is another. I've viewed one of this video that was recorded from this successful business woman. She is a single-parent to her only child. She mentioned in the video, that she need money, just like we need water, to survive. She thirst for money because no one is supporting her especially financial wise. I'm blessed to married to a responsible husband and also a father to Rawi. I was an independent woman. After married, money wasn't really an issue. But because to be a materialistic me, i prefer to spent it with my own money. So, being a mother, its my responsibility to be by my child side, whenever he need me, especially before and after school. I've asked zan, if its fine with him if I never work, he cool with it,  and i also asked what if i work, his replied is that he hope that i get a home base job. Alright, cut story short. Here are afew list of what home base job to me that i have vacant in my mind.

1. Seri Cahaya Catering
2. Teh Uncang Cafe

Yup. Business. I will describe further on this business soon. For now, this is my update. 

Huggies,

NurfatinYusli 

(honestly, i still dunno what to sign off as :D)

Rawi First Day and ChemongTheCat

Yeah! New post! Hmmmm, Maybe i should set a time to update my post at a specific timing. At least, this blog wont be that dull, right?

As you can see from the top photo. I'll update with what happen first. Chemong is the name of that male cat. He happen to came into our life as an accident. After a few hours of consideration, majority of my family members decided to keep him as a pet. Hell Yar! So many things to do and decide before keeping a pet here in Singapore. Especially CAT. Its already been 4 days since we had Chemong. He seems to know where to poop and pee since day 2. SMART CAT indeed. We too realize that he love to sleep and play at one corner. Soooo MELAYU! Cat do lepak. But on a corner, and only on a corner, CONFIRM malay cat. Even though its a male, he is very manja kind. Even when he wanna poop, he need someone to "teman" him, then can poop. Alright, enough of Chemong and his pooping manners,

Rawi first day of school happen today. He did well for his first day. We release him to his teacher, and he like, "Ohk". Oh, and his late for at least 10 minutes and his water bottle spilled in his bag. And he cried for milk when its time for him to go home. Oh yes! TIPS! Please label your child name on every stuff that belong to him/her. Or not you have to buy more, and you cant claim back your item even though you know its yours. Your Welcome! :D

Huggies,

OctoberBabies

Start Fresh! - Welcome 2016

I've been trying to upload a new blog since forever. If you can see my draft, there is indeed a few. So, here. Lets get started.

2015, I got a lot to say about you. You may not nice to me, but hey, i suppose things happen for good reasons. And i stick to that.

So, here a plain new blog. FOR NOW.

Here is a few things that you may want to look forward or at least expect from this blog.

1. Rawi OOTD photos
2. Seri Cahaya Catering Services
3. 25th-babies personal update
4. Baking & Cooking

Yup! That's it for now. I'll be editing this blog. Update again soon!

Cold Hugs,

25thBabies